Book Review: The House of My Mother

This is a little bit later than usual, but I wanted to do a book review this week and was running a little bit behind. This past week I listened to the audiobook version of Shari Franke’s The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest for Freedom and now I will review it. The documentary Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke recently came out and I watched it. I remember hearing about it two years ago when Ruby Franke was arrested and just being shocked by the whole ordeal. As a side note I will be addressing everyone by their first name throughout this review as virtually everyone is a Franke.

If you’re not aware the Franke’s were a very prominent family vlogging channel on YouTube before the mother, Ruby, was arrested in 2023 for child abuse. There’s a lot more to it, but that is the basis of it all.  

Recently, I’ve gotten into The Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcast as I was curious about other people’s thoughts on certain memoirs, and wanted to hear more about some that I hadn’t managed to get my hands on quite yet. After finishing the documentary about the Franke’s, I realized they had an episode on Shari Franke’s book. Shari Franke is the oldest child of Ruby, and the only one with a book. I listened to the episode and learned much more about the details of her life and personal struggles. I realized her book would be a much more insightful and honest depiction of the whole situation and decided to give her audiobook a listen.

I’ve said before that audiobooks are new to me, but listening to this really solidified my thought that memoirs are much stronger when read by their author. Hearing Shari recount her struggles and traumas of her childhood through her own voice made the piece that much stronger.

Sometimes people critique memoirs as cash grabs especially when done by celebrities, or people seemingly trying to just profit from their story; but I don’t think anything like that can be said about Shari Franke. Throughout the piece I was impressed by how strong of a writer she is. She is an incredibly descriptive writer, describing her family and experiences in such fascinating and unique ways. She has such a strong voice, and it truly shines through every word in this book. I’d be shocked if she didn’t pursue writing more in other ventures, her book was absolutely phenomenal. 

The organization of this memoir was also very well done. It was paced incredibly well as Shari takes us through her whole life, from birth to the present day. She recounts stories with incredible detail and specificity, painting a vivid picture for the reader. 

Shari paints the extraordinarily complex views she holds for her family. The childlike desire to have a closer relationship with her mother eventually gives way to her realizing the trauma her mother has put her through. Throughout all this she is incredibly empathetic to her mother, wondering about how things could have been different, wondering if Ruby’s trauma caused her to treat Shari this way. Even towards her father, Shari is nothing but empathetic. Kevin is virtually brainwashed by Ruby to do whatever she says, even demanding he separate from them  to ‘fix himself’ leaving her the freedom to abuse their children. Even before this descent, Shari describes Kevin as a man who would bow to Ruby’s every whim, rarely stepping in to shield her or the other children. At the end of the novel, Shari reflects on how they have come together and Kevin has worked in therapy to undo his unwavering loyalty to Ruby. It is truly a testament to Shari’s emotional maturity, because I am in shock she was able to find it within herself to forgive him. Especially this close to the events.

Her ability to empathize is truly her strongest attribute. Her closest sibling in age, Chad, was also effectively broken and brainwashed by Ruby. When Chad and Kevin are excommunicated by Ruby, Shari tracks down Chad and implores him to be in her life which he coldly rebukes before reporting her actions to their mother. Shari’s capability to understand the effects of their upbringing on Chad and Kevin, while herself being relatively free from the influence is incredibly impressive. Her emotional and mental strength are honestly the shining factors of this memoir. 

Shari’s ability to reflect on her life and the events surrounding her mother’s arrest with such poignancy and thoughtfulness is truly something to behold. Many people need years of separation from their trauma to properly understand it, and Shari is able to write this book. She does write about her experiences in therapy, and she must have an incredible therapist. Her intelligence truly shines through this whole memoir. 

Shari was raised within the Mormon church, and her mother later fell victim to a life coach named Jodi who pulled the family into her sadistic life outlook. So much of Shari’s trauma is caused by the values of the Mormon church and the way her mother and Jodi use religion as a scapegoat in their torment, and I was certainly shocked to find Shari still a Mormon by the end of her memoir. She reflects a lot on how she doesn’t really trust religious leaders anymore, and how she finds a way to hold onto her faith. 

This whole story was incredibly chilling, and expertly written. I appreciate Shari’s desire for privacy, while also acknowledging her need to set the record straight and her distaste for the documentary. I would recommend this memoir to anyone, definitely a 5/5 rating for me. The strength of Shari’s spirit is incredible to see, and beyond this the book is well written, well paced, and simply well done. I would recommend listening to this book, as hearing it from her own voice is much more impactful, but no matter what I would highly recommend reading this book. Incredible read, and I’m very glad I was able to give it a listen.